I Messed Up
by Xero-zerO
Summary: Axel cheated. Roxas left. Axel went after him. Rated M for character death, And there is an alternate ending.


**A/N:** Hey, I know I've still gotta update "Let Go" but I really wanted to write this, and I'm kinda stuck on chapter 5... Well, please don't kill me because of the sadness of this fic.

Roxas looked across the town, sitting on the clock tower with his arms wrapped around his legs. He cried silently to him self, memories of the other day flooding back to him.

_Roxas was walking up to the apartment he shared with Axel, his boyfriend of four years. He smiled as he opened the door, eager to see his lover after a hard day at work. He stopped in his tracks when he herd strange noises, like muffled giggles and groans. He followed the sounds to the closed door of his and Axel's bedroom._

_Roxas' heart dropped as he gripped the door knob, preying that it wasn't what he thought it was... Axel couldn't be doing this _again_... _

_He slowly opened the door, and dropped his keys. There was Axel, naked, in _their_ bed, with Sora. Roxas' own twin brother. He watched as Axel pounded into the brunet. He felt tears forming in his eyes, and he slammed the bedroom door, running from the apartment..._

"How could I be so stupid..." Roxas said to no one, looking down at the empty square. He remembered the first time Axel had done this, and cred again.

_Roxas stared at the two, shock apparent on his face. Axel was fucking Marly? He had to be dreaming, Axel wouldn't do something like this to him... he just couldn't. _

_But he was._

"_Axel!" Roxas yelled, throwing down the apartment keys, fuming. Axel quickly pulled out of Marluxia, and spun around to see Roxas. Marluxia quickly got dresses and ran past Roxas._

"_Roxas... I-"_

"_You what? Just thought you'd be done before I got home? Just got _tired_ of me? What is it Axel?" Roxas was shaking he was so mad._

"_Roxas..." Axel looked down at the bed, not able to explain himself._

_Roxas stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind himself._

"Why did I take him back... I figured he would do something like this..." Roxas asked himself, looking for the answer in the stars, but they wouldn't give anything up.

"Roxas?"

Roxas looked over his shoulder to see Axel standing there, holding _flowers_. Roxas stood and spun in his rage.

"You can't possibly expect me to fall for that again! 'I'll never do it again.' 'I love _you _baby' Please forgive me, I don't know what I was thinking' Well this time, it's not gonna work!" Roxas yelled, making Axel flinch.

"Roxas... I know I messed up-"

"Messed up? _You fucked my brother._" Roxas growled out that lase sentense. Axel looked down at the ground.

"It wasn't my fault..." he breathed out.

"Wasn't your fault! How could fucking my TWIN BROTHER not be your fault?" Roxas yelled, tears streaming down his face. He was shaking, and seeing red at the same time. Axel looked up at him, tears in his own eyes. He took a step closer, and Roxas glared at him, making him stop.

"Roxas... I'm sorry." Axel said, and it showed in his face. Roxas dropped his head, and clutched his hands into fists. His tears had started to slow down, and he stopped shaking. Seeing the tears in Axel's eyes... hearing his voice break like that... it calmed Roxas down.

He looked back up at Axel with eyes full of hurt.

"Why did you do it?" he whispered out, not really expecting an answer.

"He begged me to... he looked so sad... and lonely, and confused... I wanted to help him... but I know that's no excuse. I should have said no. but I didn't, I'm weak... I know this... but I'm so sorry Roxas! Please believe me, I'll never do it again!" Axel begged, gripping the flowers to his chest.

"I don't know if I can trust you again... I've been broken two too many times by you, I wouldn't be able to take it a third time." Roxas said, looking over his shoulder at the stars.

"I won't do it again, I swair! I never wanted to hurt you, please... please take me back..." he walked up to Roxas, and knelt before him. He pulled out a black velvet box, and opened it.

"Roxas Hikara, will you please marry me?" Axel asked with tears running down his face. Roxas looked down at the box, his eyes wide with shock.

"Axel... I..."

"Please Roxas... I love you." Axel begged, grabbing onto Roxas' hand. They looked into each others eyes for a few long moments, before Roxas closed his own.

"Axel... I love you too... but I can't take this any more... I can't marry." Roxas said, tears filling his eyes again.

Axel jumped up abruptly, causing Roxas to loose his balance. He stumbled on the edge of the tower, and fell backwards, his feel leaving the tower. He fell, fear showing in his face. Axel reached out to take his hand, but missed, watching hysterically as the love of his life fell the twenty stories to his death.*

XxX

Axel was standing in front of a grave stone. He fell to his knees, crying. He placed a hand on the name, then let his arm fall to his side. He fell over with sobs, as rain started to fall. He needed Roxas. He couldn't live without him. He cursed himself for what he did to his love, if he had just turned down Sora... then Roxas wouldn't be dead... ans Axel wouldn't be alone.

Axel slowly sat back up, pulling out a small pocket knife. He needed to be with Roxas... he needed to see his smiling face again. Axel's tears stopped, and he smiled, opening the blade, and jamming it repeatedly into his stomach, until he fell over, unable to move.

"Roxas..." He whispered out, closing his eyes, waiting for nothingness**... but it didn't come. He growled out in frustration, and opened his eyes again, gasping.

He was in the same place, but everything had a dark glow to it. The rain had stopped in the air everything was still. He stood up, looking at the blade in his hand, then to his stomach, but it was fine, no cuts, no wounds, no blood.

He was confused. Was this death? He walked around, looking in awe as he saw that everything was frozen in time. He shivered a bit at the sudden chill, he wondered around, until he reached the clock tower, and then he ran.

"Roxas! Roxas!" He screamed out, looking frantically. He fell to his knees, and looked up. He smiled, seeing a faint glow of something on the clock tower edge.

He ran up the stairs, and burst through the doors that led to the roof, and ran around to the frond, and stopped in his tracks. There was Roxas. He had a slight white glow to him, and he was sitting like he had the day he died... (Here's one of the endings)

Axel just watched him, and jumped when Roxas looked over his shoulder, his face full of surprise, then switched to rage.

"_You can't possibly expect me to fall for that again! 'I'll never do it again.' 'I love you baby' Please forgive me, I don't know what I was thinking' Well this time, it's not gonna work!"_ Roxas yelled, his voice sounding distant. Axel was confused, and ran over to Roxas to try to calm him down.

"Roxas, calm down!" Axel screamed, trying to grab Roxas, but his hands just passed through him.

"_Messed up? _You fucked my brother._"_ Roxas growled out again. Axel realized at once what was happening... Roxas' soul was trapped here, to repeat it's death over and over. A teat fell from Axel's eyes as he watched Roxas fall, then reappear on the ledge. Axel couldn't watch, and tried to run away, but his feet were glued to the ground. He couldn't move. He couldn't leave.

He was stuck there, to watch the death he caused... forever.

(Alternate ending)

"Roxas..." Axel breathed out, walking over to Roxas, and sat next to him.

"Axel... you shouldn't be here..." Roxas said, tears falling from his eyes.

"What do you mean Roxas? I needed to be with you." Axel said, scooting closer to Roxas. The blond cried again.

"You didn't need to die Axel." Roxas cried out, throwing his arms around the red head. Axel smiled, and pulled the blond into his lap.

"Roxas... the day you died was the day I died. I couldn't live without you. I know I messed up... I know I was stupid... but I need you... you're my air, my water, my gravity. Got it memorized?" Axel asked, smiling and burring his head in Roxas' hair.

"Yeah... I'm sorry... I've been thinking... Remember that question you asked me that day...?" Roxas asked, looking up at Axel, who unlike him had a dark glow.

"How could I forget?" Axel asked, smiling down at his Roxas.

"Well... I've changed my answer. I want to say yes." Roxas whispered out, his eyes seaming to glow brighter than Axel had ever seen him, and he knew that it wasn't from the glow that was coming from his body.

"I was hoping you would..." Axel said as he pulled the blond closer to him, kissing him with more passion and love than a kiss they had ever shared.

In death, they could experience a love that they couldn't in life. Bodies might die, but love will only grow.

**A/N: **Okay, I just couldn't finish it where I wanted to.

* where I was going to end it first time

** Where I was going to end it the second time.

I had to do an alternate ending, because I felt sooooooooooooooo sad about how it ended, I had to add something cute to offset it.

Please tell me what you think. ^_^

- Kian


End file.
